Life Love and Happiness

I woke up this morning trying to put all things in perspective, you see it has been a rough couple of years for me and I have been trying to put pieces to a puzzle together that just don't seem to fit.  I lost my father to cancer in December of 2009 and he was only 56 years old!  During this time I was also pregnant with my second child and everything was a whirlwind.  My father passed away only 3 months after his cancer was diagnosed and my daughter was born just 2 days after his funeral. All the while trying to keep up with  the holidays for my 5 year old who would be devestated if "santa" forgot her especially during a time that has also been difficult for her.  I have had many questions since the death of my father....mostly WHY?? Why him? Why now? Why cancer?  This awful disease that causes so much pain and agony.  Why while I am pregnant with his grandaughter that he will now never meet?  Why didn't he have a will?  Being a retired police officer and all WHY didn't he have these necessary things taken care of? WHY was I left to pick up all the pieces?  It has been a long road with all of these why's and why nots and it has taken over my life until today.  Today I have decided that it just doesn't matter what's done is done and I am still alive and well and on this earth to serve God's will.  I will no longer dwell on the why's.  I have two beautiful little girls who need me and rely and count on me for everything and will no longer spend my time asking why but instead spend my time doing everything and being the best I can be for my precious little ones.  Will I forget no...never.  Will I learn from this? Absolutely.  I will spend every day (or at least try to) being happy and greatful for this life that I have been given.  I will instead of asking why say thank you.  Thank you Lord for my beautiful healthy little girls that bring so much joy into my life.  Yes of course they give me a headache or two or three or they make me worry but they are my reason for everything I do in my life.  Thank you Lord for my wonderful, loving and patient husband who has walked with me through these difficult times and helped me when I was at my worst.  Thank you Lord for my father who was always a wonderful father to me even when he was going through hard times himself.  I'm not sure why you chose to take him Home to you but I know that he is in a much better place in Heaven and is now shining down on me and my family.  I have been blessed with a new guardian angel and so I will thank you Lord for that. I have been blessed to see just how precious and short life is and to now take every minute of every day and cherish it because it just may be your last or your loved ones last. I pray for every family out there who is dealing with difficult situations this world is being devastated everywhere we look but to ask why is just simply not going to get us anywhere.  I hope that from now on I can face every difficult situation with a positive outlook and be there for my friends and family through their difficult times.  Last but not least Thank you Lord for allowing me to wake up this morning and find the peace that I have been searching for these past months.  I am grateful.

Many prayers going out today to the victims and the families of those awful tornados, I pray God gives you peace during these difficult times.